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On the Fringe
Sneak Attack on the Green
By Luke Flanigan
So I’m standing off to the side of
the green on the short par 4,
preparing to hit a little chip on a
glorious afternoon. I was locked in
mentally, confident that I would hit
a soft flop shot onto the green,
nestle it close to the cup, and set up
a birdie attempt. But then, in a
flash, my concentration was
wrecked. I heard two distinct voices
shouting in desperation, “Fore!
Fore! Fore!” I didn’t even have time
to think, I simply turned away from
the shrieking golfers, bent over,
covered my head and then felt the
cold, stinging sensation of a poorly
struck Titleist as it ricocheted off
my rear.
I turned, stunned, as I watched
a pair of elderly men running toward
me with looks of concern on their
faces. Apparently, one of them was
about 40 yards away and playing out
of the rough when he hooked a
screamer out of the cabbage and sent
it hurtling toward me.
Was I angry? No. I just …
turned the other cheek.
Bad puns notwithstanding, we can’t
expect that every person out on a
public course is going to be a
proficient player. Therefore, errant
shots are going to happen. Those
guys did exactly what you should do
when mis-hitting a shot, warn the
other players on the course. At least
I had the opportunity to cover up,
which is all you can ask for. And,
truth be told, if you’re going to get
hit anywhere, the caboose is the
right place. At least nothing except
your dignity gets hurt that way.
My situation ended with the
offending party apologizing
profusely and buying me beers in
the clubhouse where I ended up
unveiling, to everybody brave
enough to look, the nice, deep,
purple bruise on my gluteusmaximus,
complete with blue
dimple marks from the ball.
We had a good chuckle, but in
reality, getting hit with a rogue golf
ball is no joking matter. More and
more people are injured and even
killed every year as the popularity of
the sport has more players on the
courses now than ever before. I have
seen people hit before, once in the
face, by shots from frustrated golfers
who failed to shout “fore.” Players
left spitting out teeth, nursing eye
injuries, or worse, has become an
unfortunate reality of the sport.
While it is rare to actually get hit,
anybody who has ever played any
amount of golf has been at least
nearly struck while on the course.
While that is bad enough, having no
warning is unacceptable.
Often, angry golfers refuse to
shout fore when hitting a poor shot.
Sometimes, they just don’t think
about it, other times they simply
don’t care. Many times a shot will
be so awful that it goes two fairways
over to where the player can’t see if
anybody is over there or not, so they
choose to say nothing. Well, when
in doubt, shout “fore” at the top of
your lungs, more than once, just to
be sure you are heard. On a vast
space such as a golf course, where
trees can impede your vision and
wind can make it difficult to hear, it
is vital that you let the other players
know about your awful shot.
It doesn’t matter how you say
it, “Fore,” “4,” or “IV,” just be sure
to say it and say it loud. Don’t
worry, nobody is going to judge you
for being a poor golfer; they will
praise you for not bombarding them
in a Pearl Harbor-like sneak attack.
Oh, and about that perfect shot
I envisioned before I was whacked
by the stray ball, I ended up hitting
a lovely little pitch shot from about
“four” yards off the green to about
“four” feet, but, I lipped out the
putt, settling for a “four” on the
hole. How fitting.
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